So, yea. Hi everyone.

I tend not to have the patience for this site anymore, I'm sorry I haven't been around.

Lifes been... well, complicated as always.

Got dumped, my god father died, work sucks... ya know, the usual.

I can't wait for this season to be over.

I can't wait for this year to be over.



I need this year to be over.

I can't take anymore heartache this year.
Haven't I bled enough this year?
Haven't I lost enough this year?

Fuck I dunno anymore.
I'm getting back into that phase where I just want to stay in my room all day and not talk to anyone or do anything.

and thats bad.
well its good for you because then you get art, but its bad.

its really bad.

My alcohol consumptions radically increased the past few months, as chars so generously pointed out every time she finds out we've had another party.
I'm starting to scare myself.
Last night I had 9 glasses of a mixture that was half punch, half Smirnoff vodka; 4 glasses of Kahlua and half and half smoothie; 4 jello shots that were all Smirnoff vodka; 3 Smirnoff Ices, andd a hardy gulp of Gin on the rocks.
I currently have no hang over what so ever and I remember everything. We stopped drinking at 2 this morning and got up at 9:30.

how am I not dead right now?

How did I not say something I'd regret last night?
How did I keep that barrier up?

well okay I did say something i regret, drunk texting is never a good idea when your upset.
Oh well. He'll get over it. He's a big fucking boy.

My little brother called to tell me he joined the army.
he starts basic in the summer.
Then he joyfully stated he'd prob be in Afghanistan this time next year.

My baby brother.
The kid I raised with my own two hands.
The little boy I held when he cried.
The little boy I saved when the monsters came.
The kid I helped with his homework.
The kid I made dinner for every night.
My baby brother.

My baby brothers going to war.

and I can't protect him anymore.

What am I supposed to do?






What am I supposed to do?

I dunno. But I have to go to work soon. so yea.

Kisses and Revolution
Brook' Lynn.